This House Has Baggage

My friends Fiend and Professor got married a few months ago. My recent visit was my first introduction to the house they just bought and the many potential stories hidden in its walls. Like many newlyweds just starting out they are pouring their hearts, souls and bank accounts into fixing it up.

This short play is dedicated to them.

Act 1
(The day the newlyweds bought their first house)
Agent: So...what do you think? The couple here now can be out by month's end.
Professor: Honey?
Fiend: It's wonderful! I love it!
Professor: Sold!

Act 2
(Newlyweds' moving in day, weeks later)
Fiend: (calling from the bathroom) Honey, didn't there used to be a door on this cabinet?

Act 3
(Couples' moving out day, a week earlier)
Divorcee: I'm taking the mug.
Divorcer: (yelling from the bathroom) For &#^$ sake, I told you that mug was mine!
Divorcee: It's my #&*@ mug, I bought it, it's coming with me!
Divorcer: #%@$ YOU! (rips the cabinet door off the hinges)

The End

I hope it sheds some light on the mysterious condition of the bathroom. Nancy Drew's got nothing on me.