WTHIWWY - City Life, Verse X

A reading from the book of What The Hell Is Wrong With You?:

Dear next door neighbor:

Were you bothered at all by the banging this morning? Did it sound like someone was standing in their closet, repeatedly hitting the walls with a hanger?

Good. Because that's exactly what it was. Every freaking day you wake me up by hitting the wall with something. The hangers in your closet is annoying enough, why must you hit the wall? Why? Why are you even touching that wall? I've seen the layout of your apartment. The only thing you could possibly put up against the wall we share is a dresser, so why are you HITTING it? The resentment is deepening. Despite the fact that you are an otherwise decent neighbor, a little loud at times but that's acceptable, the waking me up both at night and in the morning by hitting the wall makes me hate you. Deeply.

Please stop before I wake you up with a sledgehammer.

Thanks,
HB

Pointless Mechanical Beating Hearts Next

Why is it so hard for robotic scientists to understand that making their artificial creations mimic human emotions is CREEPY?

I don't want to see a look of surprise on a moving piece of metal. I just don't. Haven't any of them seen Battlestar for frak's sake?

Dear Times Square:

The trailer park called, they want their furniture back.

What's That You Say?

You're looking for an incredible time suck?
You need to kill a lot of time?
You were just thinking, "I should really spend a few more hours in front of my computer, what can I do to achieve this?"?

sporcle.com

You're welcome.

I can now name every single country on earth (after taking the quizes multiple times). At least according to the sporcle map. And only in sections because I can never see what I'm missing on the world map. I'm very pleased with my slow ability to learn using the repetition method.

Good Old Boylan

I hardly ever drink soda. I did today. Now I have the hiccups.


Curses!

Homeless Chic

I realize that I do not have a particularly fabulous, daring or even interesting sense of style when it comes to footwear. I do however, have enough sense to not wear something that looks like long strips of used leather I found in the trash behind a motorcycle shop and then tied around my feet in a desperate attempt to cover my feet.


All I can think is someone actually made money of those when I could have found some used leather strips behind a motorcycle shop and wrapped them around this chick's feet for free. Or at least way less than what I imagine she paid for them.

'Hot For Teacher' and Other F***ed Up People Updates

Letourneau celebrates her once illegal and psychologically unsound May-December romance in an unusually inappropriate way. Points for originality!

And in other news, there's an all you can eat pizza buffet at Chuck E Cheese this week! Children under 13 and adults over 30 only!!