Here's The Deal II

I know I've said this before, but apparently it bears repeating.

If you are behind me in line, do not stand next to me.

Especially if you are screeching into your cell phone because apparently you only learned to use your inside voice when your mother had a massive hangover from drinking to block out the pain of rearing a child with tragic manners.

It's really f**king irritating.

You Know What Really Bothers Me?

The smacking sound a flip-flop makes when it hits a person's heel as they walk down the hallway at work.

Here's the deal: no flip-flops at work and I won't use my super powers to melt every pair you own.

Also...

And we've been through this before, it is unacceptable to chose the stall next to mine when the other 9 are empty.

C'MON.

“I Never Bother With People I Hate That’s Why The Lady Is A Tramp”

The latest additions to the list:

The old, cranky bastard who bumped me as he stepped in front of me and then had the gall to gasp in outrage, mumble something incoherently and look at me like I was an insolent child for disturbing his personal space.

The loud, suburban but-because-she-lives-close-to-the-city-thinks-she’s-a-New Yorker woman who demanded to know if the seat next to mine was taken or if the bag and jacket there (in addition to the ones I clearly wore and held in my lap) was just “[my] stuff”.

The strange, strange man on the bus who clipped his hands free earpiece to the left arm of his eyeglasses and then pulled the chord and microphone tight against his face above his lip as he put the ear bud in his right ear. I don’t hate him per se, but he totally freaked me out so I’m puttin’ him on the list.

Carson Daly (actually, long time standing)

Here's The Deal

I don't care if it's for the hot dog stand, public transportation or for a free pack of gum from the guy on the street corner, if we are both waiting in the same line and you are behind me, don't stand next to me. It will only make me hate you.

Work Rest Room Etiquette

In an office bathroom that contains ten stalls, none of which are occupied save the one I just entered, do not follow me into the ladies and choose the stall directly next to mine. Just don't. Ok?