When First We Practice To Deceive...

There is something to be said for tricking people into celebrating your 30th birthday by telling them to come see your "performance" at a bar.

There is also something to be said for friends who trick you into thinking you'd get away with not telling anyone it was your 30th birthday.



Thanks snix and ac, for capturing the true likeness of yours truly, both visually and verbally.

I'm 30. Shut it.

I DiD It!

I'm not one of those people who go around wearing shirts that say "kiss me I'm (whatever)" though I'm not above wearing one that says "everyone loves a half asian girl", but gadamit, I made it to 30 alive.

Isn't there a reward for that or something?

A pony?

A cookie at least?

29 And 363 Days

I have 2 days left in my twenties.
What shall I do with them?

What Makes You Think...

...that I won't cutchoo?

Where Is The Asia In wISterIA?

Ok, so BukBuks aren't really on the American pop culture scene (obviously excluding 1/6 of Lou Diamond Philips and 1/2 of Rob Schneider), but even our Asian brothers and sisters are on the scarce side. There is definitely a small presence: let's see...Lost, Grey's Anatomy, Bionic Woman, Heroes etc but what can I say? I need more.

In particular I think it's time for some Asians to move onto Wisteria Lane. I mean, there was the African-American family with a dark secret. The alleged pedophile who had a handicapped sister with a dark secret. And the newest gay couple, who may or may not have a dark secret since Dana Delany and that guy from Firefly seem to have more than one.

Anyway, if I could name any famous Flips, I'd rally for their face time, but I can't so I've decided to narrow the absolutely enormous pot of Asian actors, known in the US to keep viewership up of course, down to a hopeful few. ABC, please note for consideration as the next seasons' new guest stars.

Grace Park and Chow Yun Fat could be the May-December couple from New York with a dark secret. That Asian chick (omg! She's part Buk!) from Knocked Up could be Chow Yun's daughter from a previous marriage. Boy can she giggle. But I guess she was supposed to be high all the time so it was appropriate.

Margaret Cho and that Asian woman who guest stars in every big tv show could play the strange Asian sisters from Georgia with a dark secret. That Asian chick from Harold and Kumar could be their brilliant niece from Princeton...oh wait.

Kelly Hu (She's part Buk Too!!) and Daniel Dae Kim could play the sweet but secretive couple from San Francisco with a dark secret. Who doesn't love a hot Asian couple?

Jackie Chan could move in with his elderly parents who do not speak a word of English. They do not have a dark secret, but somehow they know all of yours.

The next step is to cast an interracial couple, with a child! Imagine the press you'd get!! I'd be more than happy to offer up myself and my parents as guinea pigs! Perhaps you could even base a whole show on their lives! I promise America is ready for the next All-American Girl. Call me!

What Was I Thinking? Vol. 17

oooo party!


A few years ago I attended the opening night party of an annual convention for the people who work in my particular area of a much larger industry. It was held at the Hammerstein, and they went all out. The evening included transvestites with paddles, unusually attractive male waiters, a shirtless fire eater, female goth dancers in weird looking cages, a Joan Rivers look alike who danced on a stage in the middle of the floor, and extremely odd BukBuk behavior.

As you can probably piece together yourself, the details of the evening went as such: A group of co-workers and I walked through the doors where I was immediately thrown over a very large transvestite's lap and whacked with a paddle. All I have to say about that is, it hurt.

Then I ordered a drink from a waiter who I apparently crushed on all night, to the point where after I had ordered a few more I decided I needed to tell him things.

Me: Hi. So I just had to tell you, I think you're gorgeous.
Him: Um...thanks?
Me: K, bye!

The half-naked fire eater wearing black leather pants was apparently my crush #2. I never had a chance to tell him how 'gorgeous' I thought his curly black hair was, but so be it. I mean, he was eating fire.

The goth dancers were wearing boots I really liked. For a while I thought the dancers were just changing clothes, until it occurred to me that numerous dancers were needed to keep dancing all night. What? It was pretty dark in there.

But we all knew when the evening had come to a close, because Joan Rivers got up and danced until she lost her top. On purpose. Much to our chagrin.

I didn't do anything that embarrassing, but neither did anyone else. So by default, does this string of events make me that girl at the office party?

What Would Jesus Buy?

Morgan Spurlock's next awesome Documentary.


Check out the trailer.

I went into a department store this weekend, something I rarely do, and Christmas music was blasting. I almost cried. We haven't even hit the middle of November yet!!

WTHIWWY - Public Transport, Letter III

A reading from the book of What The Hell Is Wrong With You?

Dear Woman Sitting Beside Me This Morning:

There is an unspoken rule I know you know that applies to every single passenger on a public bus. It is this: Do not touch other passengers you do not know. The exception to this rule is only valid if someone pushes you and you accidentally touch someone you don't know, or the bus jerks in an awkward manner and you accidentally touch someone you don't know. The key word in both these scenarios is accidentally.

It was unacceptable for you to invade my personal space the first time, let alone the many subsequent times after I shifted obviously in my seat, sent you dirty sideways looks and clenched my teeth as I silently imagined slapping you upside the head. There was absolutely no need for you to repeatedly put your hand down on the seat beside you, especially when I was sitting in the seat beside you.

No Touching. Remember this.

Next time you wake me up with your disrespect, you better be wearing a chest plate. I have sharp elbows.

Cranky and annoyed you can't keep your hands to yourself,
HB

I Am In Love With Canada

And all the Canadians I met while there.

LOVE.

I can't wait to go back and explore when I'm not on the business clock.

Depending on how the next election goes, Canada may have a new bukbuk to embrace.