Musings of a Hapabukbuk

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

What Was I Thinking? Vol. 6

Omg that's her. Get down. GET DOWN!

There are some situations where you just don't know how you're going to react until it happens. You can guess based on other behavioral patterns, you can claim you'd do what anyone else would do, you can even convince yourself you know what you'd do, but it's all hearsay until the real deal occurs.

I was on my way to visit some friends this past weekend when I learned something new about myself....and it was absolutely infuriating.

The train pulled slowly into a station and my car rolled to a stop in front of a railing. A railing that my ex-good friend was leaning up against. Upon that moment of recognition, my body became a mass of jelly and I practically slid to the floor.

Ok Ok, how would you handle seeing someone from a past life where the friendship ended badly, no apologies were ever uttered and you've thwarted every attempt to get back in touch?

I panicked with an irrationality that rivaled my mother's.

#1 I wasn't even sure it was her.
#2 Even if it was her, I was on a train that would be leaving momentarily and she was clearly there to pick someone up.
#3 Where was I? Somewhere in Rhode Island? She wouldn't be anywhere near Rhode Island.
#4 Was that her?

As I sat there hunched down in my seat I felt utterly foolish and thanked the gods of travel that the man who had sat down next to me got off one stop earlier. It's nice when no one is around to actually witness you humiliate yourself.

I slowly pushed up into a respectable sitting position and looked over at her again. Then I proceeded to immediately repeat the absurdity with a renewed ridiculousness.

#5 Maybe she moved to Rhode Island? Or was I in Connecticut?
#6 That's not her. Omg is it her?
#7 But seriously, even if it is, what's she going to do? Run up to the window and start yelling through the glass?
#8 I'm on a freakin' train. With tinted windows. Sit up.

I lifted myself up and looked again. The person she was waiting for approached and she took off her sunglasses. I started to laugh. Out loud.

It wasn't her. And I'm officially a moron. I so don't want to be one of those people who hides from other people they don't want to talk to or even see ever again. But apparently I am.

I should at least get something for owning up to it.

6 Comments:

  • I always hide from people I don't want to see. My stomach was turning to jelly just thinking of that situation & it was your trauma not mine. Yikes!!!

    By Blogger nobich, At 4:20 PM  

  • I hide too.
    Sometimes.. You just have to hide!

    By Blogger Jen, At 9:46 PM  

  • I think this was the Universe's way of telling you you may still have unresolved issues regarding this situation. I'm just saying.

    By Blogger wonderturtle, At 11:42 PM  

  • me? unresolved issues? never.
    and plus, i'm not alone. nobich and jen hide too!!
    wonderturtle, why ya gotta waste my flav'ah? damn!

    By Blogger hapabukbuk, At 11:32 AM  

  • What are you doing in Rhode Island? You wanna not visit my Mama without me knowing first?

    By Blogger Unknown, At 11:01 PM  

  • I'm not wasting your flavor. This is why I don't ever go to the supermarket in my hometown. Changing your hair length/color every year also helps.

    By Blogger wonderturtle, At 6:59 PM  

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