Stalking 101

Dear Bank:

Aren't you supposed to be a little more discreet about your stalking? I mean, the numerous phone calls I don't answer which lead to hang ups on voicemail weren't enough to get a restraining order, but now the letters too? Signed and dated by you? I know my bank account isn't nearly as fat as you'd like it to be, so why am I so attractive to you? Why must you plague me with irritating phone calls during AM work meetings or PM movie outings? I know my account is in order because I checked. I'm only going to interrupt you half way through your third word if I ever do pick up the phone when you call to inform you that I am not interested. Unless you deposit free money with no strings attached into my account, I am not, nor will I ever be interested in anything you have to say. So let's make the world a nicer place. Stop calling me.

Soon to be an ex-customer if you keep this up,

Hapabukbuk