What Was I Thinking Vol. 8

AAAAIIIEEEEE!!!

Integral Facts to Vol. 8’s Anecdote:

1. It takes place in Ireland
2. There was nowhere to “pull over”. It was strictly 2 lanes and 2 ditches.
3. I’m pretty sure I was the only Hapabukbuk in the entire country, yet I was first and foremost known as a Yankee.*
*ok #3 is not an integral fact but I thought it an amusing one.


One summer a few years ago, my friend Fiend invited me on a trip to visit her family overseas and then actually allowed me to come when I showed up at the airport, ticket in hand. She rented a car so we could get around easily, or so we thought. Learning stick on an Irish country road doesn’t exactly lend itself to easy travel.

Anyway, at one point when it was just her and me in the car, I heard a buzzing of sorts directly behind my head. I looked around the headrest but didn’t see anything. Then it turned into a tapping against the window. A LOUD tapping that I quickly determined was an insect the size of my fist, ramming itself against the glass. The screaming began immediately.

“AAAHHHH! OMG!! OPEN THE WINDOW!!”

As the windows were all manual, and I couldn’t reach the handle anyway, I just continued to yell. That is until I started laughing and could no longer form words.

“HAHA! GET IT OUT! GET IT HA! PULL OMERAH! HAHAHAA! DWOKEH! DJEKLWEIOAHAHA!”

“What? What? What’s the matter with you? What is it? I can’t pull over! I CAN’T PULL OVER!!”

I don’t know how she did it, but she managed to find a place where we didn’t end up face forward in a ditch. Before the car even stopped, I had flung the door open and myself 20 feet into a field.

After the mutated bumblebee flew non-threateningly away, I calmed my hysterics and got back into the car. Fiend looked over at me with an expression of utter bewilderment.

“What the f**k was that?”

“I’m sorry,” I said, still trying to stifle a laugh. “There was a bee.”