A Series Of Uneventful Events

11:30pm I arrive home to find the door wedged open. Surprise. I think I'll come back out and shut it in a minute and go inside to put down my bags. I promptly forget.

11:45pm The dog starts barking like mad. I ignore it because it's his usual reaction to the elephants that live in the building. This time however, he continues on. I stop what I'm doing and come out into the living room to try to quiet him before he wakes up the neighborhood. I hear a muffled hello? from outside the door. As I am in the middle of changing my clothes I shout one minute!! and run back to put on pants.

11:46pm I open the door a crack and peer out. One of my landlord's monkeys who was fired for stealing from people's apartments stood there looking back.

HB: hello?
Monkey: hi. is your roommate home?
HB: no.
Monkey: oh. my car is being towed (blah blah blah blah) around the corner (blah blah) it's just around the corner. it's being towed right now and it's going to cost me 120 bucks. it's just around the corner! i only have 100 (flashes some twenties at me) on me. (blah blah blah) i was kinda hoping i could borrow 20 bucks from your roommate.
HB: yeah, she's not here.
Monkey: oh, i was just hoping. [translation- i was hoping you'd give me 20 bucks for the previous reason stated that may or may not be the truth so if i'm ever around the neighborhood again and i can leisurely stop by and ask for more.]
HB: sorry man, that sucks. i'd give it to you but i just spent the last of my cash getting home today. [translation- no. get away from my front door.]
Monkey: ok.
HB: good luck.

11:48pm I think my roommate is going to freak out that he remembered her and not me, especially since he replaced the toilet in my bathroom.

11:49pm I look out the peephole and someone else in the building comes home and removes the wedge.

Oh the timing!!