Musings of a Hapabukbuk

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Landlord Hater Yes I Am

Reasons everyone should hate my current landlord:

~He refuses to acknowledge my bathroom ceiling needs to be fixed and painted.
~He refuses to acknowledge the fact that our water smells like dirty sweat socks.
~He refuses to acknowledge our kitchen ceiling is leaking and will one day fall on us, probably electrocuting us, while we cook.
~He's boinking a lady in the building and still refuses to tend to anyone's apartment (cuz we all have problems).
~He waited until the boiler literally broke one winter when it was colder than a witch's teat outside, and left a note on the door that said:
"The heat will be turned off tonight while the boiler is replaced. The good news is the weather forecast said it was supposed to be 45 degrees."
Good thing the wind chill that December only pulled it down to 16 degrees. Five days and twenty tenant calls to the housing authority later, we had heat.
~He refused to acknowledge the lease I signed and sent to him as per his instruction, and raised our rent 6 months into it, forcing us into a new lease which we finally got him to freaking sign.
~He's a lazy SOB who won't do a gadam thing until this entire building collapses and we all sue him for every last penny he's worth.

Reasons everyone should hate my ex-landlord:

~He's a thieving bastard who refuses to return my security deposit because he claims my roommate never paid her last months rent.
~He's a pothead asshole who keeps shitty records and sent me a handwrittten account of my alleged security account bank statement when I asked him for it, which he says was opened under some girl named April's name. I do not know this April and she was not on the lease.
~He's a smarmy liar who won't let you speak when you finally get him on the phone, out of what I can only guess is the fear that he will be proven a smarmy, thieving, lying bastard asshole pothead if you do get a word in edgewise.

But I'm not bitter. Ok I am. I am extremely bitter.
Bitter Bitter Bitter Bitter Bitter.
BUT, I'm even more bitter about the fact that I don't make enough money to buy my own dwelling place, so I am resigned to continue dealing with this nonsense until the Promotion Gods toss me a bone.

So toss me a bone dammit! What kind of ritual dance do I have to do?

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