Open Letter to Mr. Colbert

Dear Stephen:

I could go on and on, but I'll keep it short. Here are the top three reasons I offer as to why you should employ me as your Yes (Wo)man:

I think you are brilliant and will say so after every brilliant remark you make.

I think you are hilarious and will laugh at every funny joke you tell.

I’ll make you dinner every night as long as you promise to make a speech.

Colbert for president!

All my love,
#53141