Santa Spotted On The Gold Coast

HOBOKEN, NJ - Santa Claus, also known as St. Nicholas b. 1823 was seen last Thursday in the mile square city across the Hudson from the big apple.

It is assumed by many that between the day after Christmas and the day before the following year's Christmas, Santa is busy at work ordering toys, electronics and clothes online to bring to all the children of the world. "Not so," says Hapabukbuk, a witness to Santa's summer appearance in Hoboken. "He was totally buff and tan to boot. There's no way that 174 year old man has been chained to a desk in the north pole. I mean even his long white beard looked like it had been lightened with lemon juice or something."


She managed to get a picture with her less than stellar camera phone. He appears to be standing atop a garbage filled dumpster. "After he walked back and forth across the trash pulling at wires for a while, he finally sat down for a smoke." Hapabukbuk went on to say she was glad Santa was getting out, but really didn't approve of his smoking. "It only takes one kid to see that and think it's cool, you know? Hey look, Santa smokes why can't I?"

No word yet on what Santa was actually doing or why, but it is certainly clear toys for the children were not his priority. Will there be no gifts under the tree this year? Or have all the world's children been bad? I guess we'll just have to wait and see.