Dear Midnight Oil Burning Jerk Faces:

(Aka My New Next Door Neighbors:)

I am not quite sure if you realize this, but your kitchen window is directly diagonal from my bedroom window. Normally this is not a problem as I always keep my curtains closed, but since you moved in and consequently don't even have curtains, it has become one. Your garish overhead kitchen light blazes right through my curtains and lights up my room like it's carnifuckingvale. In the wee morning hours, this is extremely irritating. What are you doing in that craphole of a kitchen anyway? And don't even try to tell me it's not a craphole because before you moved in my roommate and I snuck in to check the place out and discovered that without a doubt it is a craphole. There isn't even room enough for a table! So listen. Just shut the gadam light off when you leave the room ok? It will save you on your electric bill and I'll be able to get some sleep.

Thanks,
HB