Public Nuisances
People who spit anywhere other than their bathroom sink should be fined, especially if it happens near the vicinity of me, 100 bucks to anyone who witnessed and was disgusted by it.
People who cut their nails anywhere other than their bathroom should be dragged out into the street and hung by those nails, provided they are caught before they have been clipped. Especially if caught doing it on public transportation.
People who stop in the middle of the sidewalk and effectively become a wall I must wait to find a way around while the line of people who got to the wall a split second before me passes by, should be jailed for obstructing a major artery of transportation.
People who cut in front of me while walking on the sidewalk and go at a pace ten times slower than mine should be forced to do 300 hours of community service for generally pissing me off.
People named Tom Cruise should be ordered to get back on his medication, come to his senses and award me punitive damages in the amount of one million dollars for my mental distress. Every day I suffer being inundated with pictures, stories and sound bites of his miserable existence. It has to stop.
People who cut their nails anywhere other than their bathroom should be dragged out into the street and hung by those nails, provided they are caught before they have been clipped. Especially if caught doing it on public transportation.
People who stop in the middle of the sidewalk and effectively become a wall I must wait to find a way around while the line of people who got to the wall a split second before me passes by, should be jailed for obstructing a major artery of transportation.
People who cut in front of me while walking on the sidewalk and go at a pace ten times slower than mine should be forced to do 300 hours of community service for generally pissing me off.
People named Tom Cruise should be ordered to get back on his medication, come to his senses and award me punitive damages in the amount of one million dollars for my mental distress. Every day I suffer being inundated with pictures, stories and sound bites of his miserable existence. It has to stop.
posted by hapabukbuk at
11:57 AM
3 Comments:
I don't think Scientologists can take medication.
Maybe that's the problem.
By
wonderturtle, At
9:48 PM
True they cannot, but I have a sneaking suspicion Tom used to break that rule. Then one day Johnny T said, "you know Tommy, medication is forbidden. It shows you are weak when you take it." And in order to prove his virility (and because kissing girls is so icky for him) he stopped taking the chemicals which helped his behavior problems.
By
hapabukbuk, At
2:19 PM
Women who wear open-toe sandals in January should have thier feet cut off.
By
Unknown, At
1:06 PM
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