WTHIWWY - City Life, Verse IV

A reading from the book of What The Hell Is Wrong With You?:

One day I went to meet some friends at another friend’s apartment in a high-end area of the mid-East side. Or at least the building was of a swanky persuasion as when I arrived I had to be announced by the…what are they called? Bell men?

As I waited for the doors of the elevator to close, a woman got in with her Dean and Deluca bags and matching haughty attitude. Snoots McSnooty was apparently returning from a day out shopping, for which she had to bathe in her favorite perfume. I immediately began sneezing. She didn’t say Bless you, she didn’t turn her head. She didn’t even blink, though it was clearly her nasty aroma which caused my reaction.

After meeting with my friends, we got on a descending elevator that already had one occupant: Snooty McSnooterson, Snoot’s alleged sister. She was dressed in all black and practically strained her neck as she tilted it back to look down her nose at us. I fought the urge to stick out my foot and trip her as she clicked her way out to meet her companion.

Listen up Snooties of the East side, I may not look like a million bucks in my jeans and sweatshirt, but “I’ll [always] be the million you’ll never make.” (Thanks Ani.)