What Was I Thinking? Vol. 1
Cool.
Yes, this post will be a direct rip off of Grant Miller's "Worst Things That Have Ever Happened To Me" because he's funny. And I like funny. Also, bastardized plagerism is the highest form of literary flattery. I can feel the blush rising to Grant's cheeks even though he has no idea this blog exists nor that I am linked to his funny butt.
Now, where was I? Oh yes. What was I thinking?
I opened the mini fridge at the new facility I worked at today and found it lacked the one thing I desired. Water. However, their selection was quite different from the usual array of huge corporate, media saturated, unhealthy sugary carbonated beverages. Cool, I thought. Though I did see a Sunkist, they aren't trying to rule the world with their "Feel the orange inside" trademark. For that, I respect them more as a consumer. But I digress.
Aside from the Sunkist, there was a selection of unfamiliar cans, with unfamiliar logos, colors and flavors. I was momentarily disoriented and confused by the lack of red and silver and green. At first I thought they were of a generic brand, but then I grabbed one that said Jamaican Lemonade and brought it back to the room. Jamaican Lemonade? I thought as I projected a high yum factor, This is going to be great.
I broke open the seal and took a swig. I'm pretty sure if I had licked a couple stones that a penguin just peed on, the taste would have been somewhat similar. I read the label again:
"Exclusively Fruit Juice Sweetened."
Huh?
"Lemon Juice Flavored Sparkling Beverage From Concentrate."
Um...what?
Fruit flavored sweet exclusive sparkling concentrate?
R.W. Knudsen Family, I applaud your endeavor. 80% juice in an actual juice beverage is practically unheard of...unless you're listening to the Juicy Juice people but that's not the point. I am absolutely thrilled that I've discovered a new product that uses natural ingredients and isn't trying to sell me a celebrity/electronic device/car while they're at it. I cannot wait to try another one of your juices, but be warned. You only get one second chance. Who knows what I'll be thinking then...
-------UPDATE--------
He knows me! Mr. Miller found me out! I feel like the shy freshman girl who the senior quarterback just smiled at in front of all two of her friends!
I am taking this blogging thing way too seriously. Is it sad that I'm this excited? I need to get out of the apartment.
Yes, this post will be a direct rip off of Grant Miller's "Worst Things That Have Ever Happened To Me" because he's funny. And I like funny. Also, bastardized plagerism is the highest form of literary flattery. I can feel the blush rising to Grant's cheeks even though he has no idea this blog exists nor that I am linked to his funny butt.
Now, where was I? Oh yes. What was I thinking?
I opened the mini fridge at the new facility I worked at today and found it lacked the one thing I desired. Water. However, their selection was quite different from the usual array of huge corporate, media saturated, unhealthy sugary carbonated beverages. Cool, I thought. Though I did see a Sunkist, they aren't trying to rule the world with their "Feel the orange inside" trademark. For that, I respect them more as a consumer. But I digress.
Aside from the Sunkist, there was a selection of unfamiliar cans, with unfamiliar logos, colors and flavors. I was momentarily disoriented and confused by the lack of red and silver and green. At first I thought they were of a generic brand, but then I grabbed one that said Jamaican Lemonade and brought it back to the room. Jamaican Lemonade? I thought as I projected a high yum factor, This is going to be great.
I broke open the seal and took a swig. I'm pretty sure if I had licked a couple stones that a penguin just peed on, the taste would have been somewhat similar. I read the label again:
"Exclusively Fruit Juice Sweetened."
Huh?
"Lemon Juice Flavored Sparkling Beverage From Concentrate."
Um...what?
Fruit flavored sweet exclusive sparkling concentrate?
R.W. Knudsen Family, I applaud your endeavor. 80% juice in an actual juice beverage is practically unheard of...unless you're listening to the Juicy Juice people but that's not the point. I am absolutely thrilled that I've discovered a new product that uses natural ingredients and isn't trying to sell me a celebrity/electronic device/car while they're at it. I cannot wait to try another one of your juices, but be warned. You only get one second chance. Who knows what I'll be thinking then...
-------UPDATE--------
He knows me! Mr. Miller found me out! I feel like the shy freshman girl who the senior quarterback just smiled at in front of all two of her friends!
I am taking this blogging thing way too seriously. Is it sad that I'm this excited? I need to get out of the apartment.
posted by hapabukbuk at
7:29 PM
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