The Jamie Encounters

I have never met a female named Jamie who could pass for nice. I’m not quite sure what it means in the larger scheme of things or even if it means anything at all, but at the moment it’s just a fact. That's not to say nice female Jamies don't exist, it's just that I haven't met any.

Neighborhood Jamie – Blonde. I was younger than four so I don’t remember much, but my mother tells me she was mean. Obviously it was chemical.

Kindergarten Jamie – Brunette. She and Jenny would play ‘kittens’ during recess and when I asked if could play too, I was denied as if I was just not cool enough to be seen playing with her. Jenny always just looked at me wide-eyed.

Grammar School Jamie – Red head. Though we didn’t really know each other, I always found her giving me weird looks when passing or from the other side of a large room.

High School Jamie – Blonde. Alleged friend, until I realized I always felt like crap around her for a reason. She was mean-spirited and manipulative in order to compensate for her extreme insecurities.

College Jamie – Brunette. Freshman year roommate who wasn’t so much mean as she was just completely oblivious to living with a whole other person in a 10x10 room. Personal hygiene was not high on her list of priorities, nor was blaring music or having boys over to do her class work at a normal hour.

So…if you are female and your name is Jamie, and if our paths are destined to cross at some point, please forgive me for being wary. Your namesake track record isn’t exactly stellar.