Inexplicable Adult Behavior

"I knew I was in trouble when the old guy with the oxygen tank passed me." 
– Matt Damon, joking about his recent appearance in a Miami marathon

In 2000 I ran a 5k. Or rather, I sped walked, then walked, then jiggled on jello legs until I crossed the finish line...after the 90 year old man in teeny, tiny yellow shorts. I came in 342 out of 345. Me and Matt Damon are like this.

Inexplicable Childhood Behavior

When I was 13 I dressed up as a skunk for Halloween and went trick or treating. By myself. It was so cold I had to wear my winter jacket over the costume and my mom drove me from house to house. It took two days for the white stripe in my hair to wash out.

What.