Your First Born for a Slice of Pizza

so i stayed late at work yesterday, of my own volition, and ended up working through dinner. no surprise then, when at 11pm i made the poor decision to stop in an 'eatery' if you will, on my way home. 42nd street happens to be on the way home, the largest tourist trap in the world, but this did not occur to me in my famished state. what bothers me most about the fact that i paid $4.28 for a slice of pizza, is not that i paid $4.28, but that i didn't even blink when i paid it. only after some of the doughy crust with a pittance of mozzarella and tomatos i didn't even want hit my stomach did i realize i'd been robbed. ROBBED i tell you.

A Face Only a Woman on Pamprin Could Love

i keep emails. it's what i do. i'm not known for it or anything. it's not my MO. but i have issues with lettings things go, obviously, and rat packing electronic letters is only the beginning. anyway, it's worth crowding my inbox for those times when work isn't fully occupying my mind.

Sent : Thursday, July 18, 2002 1:52 AM

A study in London showed that the kind of "male
face" a woman finds attractive can differ depending
on where a woman is in her menstrual cycle.

For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted
to men with rugged, masculine features, and if she
is menstruating she is more prone to be attracted
to a man with a heavy pair of scissors shoved in
his forehead.

heh.
here's a planned itinerary from a friend for a vacation in the NW.

Sent: Friday, April 16, 2004 5:57 PM

hm. maybe:
15th: arrive seattle, travel to portland, drink heavily to exacerbate jetlag
16th: stagger around portland like hungover rockstars
17th: repeat, stand around watching a band, looking detached
18th: travel back to seattle, meet cute boys on train, snog furiously
19th: wander around seattle, wide-eyed, get lost briefly, gain funny story
20th: argue briefly about what to do on our last day, make up, buy things
21st: jet home
i am fully open to suggestion/amendment of this plan.

we ended up checking off most the list...

isn't it amazing? i can now say, when i was a kid we didn't have email! i had to write letters by hand! oh how i suffered...

is it 6 yet?

Keep Your Forehead to Yourself!

what is it about me that makes people feel safe to act crazy around me? and by crazy i mean invading my personal space with whatever it is they feel the need to say/do/show to me.

i went out to dinner with a couple of friends one night and halfway through our delicious spanish meal i felt someone place their head against the back of mine. figuring it was one of my friends who had gotten up without my noticing, i didn't move. perhaps i just didn't want to turn around for fear it wasn't a friend. either way, i silently sat there frozen, uncertain of what was about to happen.

"your hair looks better down," came a breathy voice, one i didn't recognize and didn't particularly enjoy feeling on the back of my neck.

um. what? ogad. what's happening? what do i do? help! ogad.

"just thought you should know." he lifted his head off of the back of mine and i turned to see what creature had simultaneously violated my head, my ears and any sense of safety i might have had in pulling my hair back to eat. there standing before me was a middle-aged man, with his wife, dressed in a silver and blue track suit, aviator sunglasses and a cheshire grin that made me want to shower immediately.

he then walked out, clearly happy with his decision to let me know his opinion about my hair, and all i could do was wish i was bald.

my friends asked, "do you know that guy?"

i found enough of my voice to snark, "you mean the guy in the track suit that just molested me with his forehead? aiee, i have to go to the bathroom."