A Very BukBuk Christmas

I learned the truth about Santa when I was about 6 or 7...an older family friend you see. At first I didn't believe her, but eventually I admitted that I was just fooling myself. I never told my mother, nor did she ever do anything that would suggest she knew I knew. So for years to come, in order to alleviate my guilt about knowing, I tried to maintain the image that I believed.

On a seemingly unrelated note, for a few years when I was a kid my parents brought me to a very BukBuk Christmas, though they usually referred to it as The Filipino Party. Because I have an excellent memory, most of the details about these parties are fuzzy and sort of visually paraphrased in my mind, but I do remember wondering how this BukBuk dressed in a Santa suit always knew exactly what to give me when it was time to pass out presents to all the kids in attendance. The last year we went however, I was in my early teens, and feeling way too old for these shenanigans I reluctantly got up to receive my gift. I'm pretty sure my mother was pushing me. It was a necklace. Or something. I can't remember. But I do remember loving it so when I sat back down I said, "thanks mom! It's beautiful!"

After that some of the tags on the boxes under the tree on Christmas morning read from: mom and dad. Others still read from: santa. I half think she was messing with me, half think she was clinging to the hope that I still believed.

This year I'll be at sea floating somewhere among the islands. Will Santa be able to find me?

Maligayang Pasko!

Childhood Things

Before my parents retired and moved down south, my mother's ebay addiction took a turn. For once, instead of buying boxes of crap from other people's garage sales to sell, she began emptying her own house. If only I had known...
A couple years ago I asked her where that little statue of the goat boy was.

"Pan?" she said. "Oh I sold him on ebay before we left."

"You what?" my brother and I shouted in unison.

"Why?"

"I wanted that!" we both shouted in unison again.

"What? That thing? It was awful looking!"

"But you painted it!"

"That's why you want it?"

"Yes of course!" (That and it was a statue of Pan! Hello!)

"What else have you sold?" I asked. "The vase with the Asian face on it that used to scare me?"

"Sold."

"The warrior?"

"Sold."

"That black velvet painting of a naked lady I used to tell everyone was you?"

"Sold."

"The caribou?"

"That's in your father's room."

"That one's mine."

"Nooo! Fine. I want the brass mama and baby duck."

"I think I still have that somewhere."

"You better! I told you I wanted that LOOOONG ago!"

"What about the horrible ballerina head from Rita?"

"No! I've tried to sell that 3 times! No one wants it!"

"Surprise. Why don't you accidentally drop it?"

"Rita had horrible taste, but she had expensive horrible taste! It's worth too much!"

Oh mom. How could you sell Pan without telling us? We lectured her on how she was not to sell any more of our childhood memories without first getting our approval. This year I'm going to go around the house and take pictures of all the items I want. Morbid? Possibly. But mom's ebay addiction is still strong so I must take note. Last year I made sure to get the monkey statue in all the Christmas pictures just in case it was gone this year.

Next week...it's a full on treasure hunt.

Just Things

I had a craving for a hard boiled egg this morning.
It made me think of how my mom can break an egg with one hand, let the yolk drop and throw out the shell all without getting any on her.
That made me think of that Meg Ryan movie where she peels an entire apple in one strip.
Which made me think of how my dad can peel an orange in one strip.
And then I missed them. Well, not Meg Ryan. I don't know her.
Also I didn't make the egg. So I'm still craving.

Things I May Tell My Potential Future Children

If you ever find yourself lost and hungry and without the means to pay for food, stand out back of a bagel shop at closing time. When the big bag of that day's discarded bagels lands, pull from the middle. Pull from the middle!

It Happens. Like You Don't Know.

Isn't it fascinating how all the things you want but can never find suddenly appear when you're supposed to be shopping for other people? And so you come home having spent more on yourself than anyone else but you are able to justify it because omg you've been looking for that for soooo long it's just coincidence that it happens to be now that you bought it for yourself?


No? Just me?

Well ok then.

December = Party Time

Just me and the girls getting ready to paint the town red:

Brown Is The New Black

The lighting in my apartment sucks.

The black belt I donned this morning has magically turned brown.

I am wearing black boots.

This is all very disappointing.