Question:

Why does anyone give a rat's ass about chelsea's wedding?

Texting With My BFF

KB: i really want 2 meet (kathy griffin) and be bffs.

HB: am i just not good enough for you anymore? should i die my hair red and get a pap smear in times square?

KB: yes please.

HB: ok but only if you get a tattoo across your chest and start playing angry grrl folk music.

Stupid Publicity Stunts in NYC

From The Daily Beast who got it from The Huffington Post:

'Starbox' to Hide Celebrity
Our bet’s on James Franco: Starting July 23, Art.party.theater.company will put a celebrity in a box in Bryant Square Park in New York City. The identity of the celebrity is currently unknown—“We invite lots of speculation about who the celebrity will be,” says Artistic Director Mary Birnbaum. Visitors will be allowed to peek in at the celebrity in the box, so long as they sign a non-disclosure release.

There just aren't any words to describe the full extent of the assinine'ness of this.

Dear Comcast:

I hate you SO much, it flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths...

I would quit you SO FAST if I had ANY OTHER OPTIONS FOR CABLE TV. You however, are a monopoly in my area and it makes me hate you EVEN MORE. I've talked to your representatives on the phone, I've chatted with them online and I even had one friendly technician come out to my apartment to help me with my cable issue. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM PROMISED THE PROBLEM WOULD BE FIXED. Every single one of them is a liar.

I hate you so much, the hate has hate appendages waving hate flags at your hated lame ass company.

Thanks for accepting my hard earned money in return for SHITTY SERVICE.
You SUCK.

Hate,
HB

Bad News/Good News

Bad News: I saw what I thought was a cockroach crawl across my floor and proceeded to destroy my bedroom. Who knew my own strength.


Good News: The floor under my bed is now germ free where I sprayed the menace with clorox and eventually killed it, the enormous dust bunnies living under there have also been annihilated and I found a dusty ear plug and the cap to a water bottle, both of which are enormously helpful in the course of absolutely nothing.