Say It Out Loud Vol. 6

Quotable quotes from Hapabukbuk's viewing library:

Andrea: How do I know him?
Samantha: Did you sleep with him?
Andrea: Oh please. He's wearing a swatch.

-The Gallery Show

Fallen Prey

"30 Rock" cleverly worked this sponsor into one of their episodes.

I didn't think it was real until I saw an ad on the side of a city bus.


I mean, "fortified with optimism"?

It looks absolutely unappealing, but I totally have to try it.

Dammit that subliminal type messaging which was actually very obvious worked on me!

Idiotboxitis

How TV stole time from me last week:

7 minutes - how socks are made
7 minutes - how ribbon candy is made
1.5 hours - the life stories of woman criminals
15 minutes - the differences between sea otters and river otters
1/2 hour - a pretty amnesiatic woman is proposed to by a billionaire
1/2 hour - a pretty career woman said her boss could eat her poo
(There would have been more but I forgot to watch some stuff)

How TV will steal time from me this week:

1/2 hour - a pretty amnesiatic woman tries to survive her former bad self
1 hour - a group of pretty friends try to survive an outlandish suburbia
1 hour - a group of pretty con artists try to survive their american dream con
(but i'll probably forget cuz I forgot last week)
1 hour - a group of pretty people try to survive each other in a hospital, and sometimes do surgery
1 hour - two groups of people, and some new people mixed in, try to survive each other on a tropical island, and sometimes in the future
1/2 hour - a pretty career woman tries to survive her corporate cradled boss
1/2 hour - a group of pretty normal people try to survive their nincompoop boss
1 hour - two groups of pretty people try to survive each other in space

It's Been Awhile...

I apologize.

But here's my excuse:

Really the only thing I want at the end of the day is half a glass of milk and a handful of cookies. This small pleasure has been surreptitiously thieved from my nightly routine due to my sudden lack of the enzyme lactase, or worse an allergy to casein. (I've been known to get hives for no reason!!) I am terribly depressed by this as I have yet to find something to replace this gaping hole in my life. And believe me, I have tried to find something. Even Jim Carrey can't help me with this one.

Until I find another innocuous vice, postings may be sparse. Any advice (if you say try soy or rice milk, illneverspeaktoyouagain) would be appreciated.

Hapa "Lactarded" BukBuk

WTHIWWY - Public Transport, Letter IV

A reading from the book of What The Hell Is Wrong With You?

Dear Bus Driver Who Closed The Doors ON Me As I Tried To Disembark:

That hurt, you a'hole. How was I supposed to know one finger in the air meant please-wait-while-I-shut-the-bus-doors-and-drive-foward-five-
feet-and-then-reopen-the-doors-so-you-can-then-get-out
and not,
hmm-I-wonder-which-way-the-wind-is-blowing?
Every single other bus driver I have ever had the pleasure of thanking on my way off the bus has held their hand out in a clear inquiry to stop if they wanted to move the bus forward before all the passengers had gotten off. Please ask them to teach you how it's done before your ass gets sued.

My sincerest f you, due to your lack of voicing an apology for assaulting me first thing in the AM,

Hapabukbuk

A Copywriter That Actually Earned Their Salary

Ok look, I know I'm late to the party as usual, but I saw this commercial for the first time today (apparently I'm the only American who hasn't seen it) and it literally made me cry with laughter. When the stain gets loud and angry, I just cannot hold it together. I can't believe none of my friends sent this to me sooner.