Yes, this post will be a direct rip off of Grant Miller's
"Worst Things That Have Ever Happened To Me" because he's funny. And I like funny. Also, bastardized plagerism is the highest form of literary flattery. I can feel
the blush rising to Grant's cheeks even though he has no idea this blog exists nor that I am linked to his funny butt.
Now, where was I? Oh yes. What was I thinking?
I opened the mini fridge at the new facility I worked at today and found it lacked the one thing I desired. Water. However, their selection was quite different from the usual array of huge corporate, media saturated, unhealthy sugary carbonated beverages. Cool,
I thought. Though I did see a Sunkist, they aren't trying to rule the world with their "Feel the orange inside" trademark. For that, I respect them more as a consumer. But I digress.
Aside from the Sunkist, there was a selection of unfamiliar cans, with unfamiliar logos, colors and flavors. I was momentarily disoriented and confused by the lack of red and silver and green. At first I thought they were of a generic brand, but then I grabbed one that said Jamaican Lemonade and brought it back to the room. Jamaican Lemonade?
I thought as I projected a high yum factor, This is going to be great.
I broke open the seal and took a swig. I'm pretty sure if I had licked a couple stones that a penguin just peed on, the taste would have been somewhat similar. I read the label again:
"Exclusively Fruit Juice Sweetened."
"Lemon Juice Flavored Sparkling Beverage From Concentrate."
Fruit flavored sweet exclusive sparkling concentrate? R.W. Knudsen Family
, I applaud your endeavor. 80% juice in an actual juice beverage is practically unheard of...unless you're listening to the Juicy Juice people but that's not the point. I am absolutely thrilled that I've discovered a new product that uses natural ingredients and isn't trying to sell me a celebrity/electronic device/car while they're at it. I cannot wait to try another one of your juices, but be warned. You only get one second chance. Who knows what I'll be thinking then...
He knows me! Mr. Miller found me out! I feel like the shy freshman girl who the senior quarterback just smiled at in front of all two of her friends!
I am taking this blogging thing way
too seriously. Is it sad that I'm this excited? I need to get out of the apartment.